Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries work two ways.  One is setting and maintaining your healthy boundaries with people and the other is respecting other people’s boundaries.  Relationships are quite complex and when it comes to having a relationship with a person who treats you badly, it is very important to set restrictions on their behaviour toward you, which means drawing a line about what you will and what you will not put up with from that person.  The key is to communicate it as graciously or diplomatically as possible.  This can be difficult, especially when the other person is a family member.

Work relationships can be a real challenge and it is so important to set and maintain healthy boundaries with workmates and bosses.  Some friendships can also be trying, especially when a friend expects you to be available to them 24/7.  How do manage that?  How can you set healthy boundaries when you feel guilty about it, especially when this friend is so needy?  The relationship with your partner can be a tough one.  There might be some things there that cause frustration, but you don’t know how to say things to them without hurting their feelings.  Sound familiar? 

Then there are the expectations in church relationships, especially with church leaders which can be quite exasperating at times.  The expectations placed on people can cause stress and strain on those relationships.  For example, you wish to serve but end up saying yes to every need and your family life suffers as a result.  The good news is that it is okay to say no to some things!  You don’t need to burn yourself out running around meeting every need.  Is it okay for you to allow others to serve too?  What are your beliefs around that?

If you need help with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, one of our life coaching programmes is for you.  You will learn how to set and maintain healthy boundaries as well as respect other people’s boundaries.  This programme is designed to focus on areas that need to be strengthened in your life and you will learn skills in assertiveness and tactful, calm communication which will bring better relationships with the people in your work, church community and personal life.  For more information, or to enrol in our healthy boundaries programme, please contact me.


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